Fake Friends are like a Shadow they ONLY show up when the Sun is Shinning

Why people flee from you in times of trouble

It is during our most difficult times that we learn what true compassion and friendship means. Having fake friends when you are in a dark place only adds to the pain and suffering. Only a true and compassionate friend has time to listen to someone who is in distress; it takes patience. Just as a kind word can make a sad soul smile a compassionate ear can make all the difference.

In today’s society there are too many men, women and children suffering. The good news, Jesus came to this earth as a human being and he understands our emotional and physical struggles. He gave us an example of how to endure and how to love one another while remaining in peace.

When you do good people are drawn to you

The rich and famous and those in certain positions of power have no problem attracting fake friends. Their sun is shining brightly and everybody wants to be in their presence. But the Bible teaches us that is a form of idol worshiping not friendship. People who are money driven and materialistic do not understand how to be compassionate.

A wise man once said, “You will never see a u-haul following a hearse.” That man was Denzel Washington. When I first heard him say that it caught my attention because you cannot take anything with you in death. Even though this is true and no man or woman can argue that point – well, I guess the rich could arrange to bury their earthly valuables with them – many people love money and things more than people. It is not the money that is the root of all evil. No. It is the individual’s love of money that is the root of all evil.

People run and hide from you when you are down

Jesus was with the sick, the poor, the widows and those who others considered unworthy of His time or kindness. Did he tell Peter who loved Him that he would deny Him three times? And then there is the story of Job a righteous man who loved God. Job 2:7 it says “So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and struck Job with painful boils from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head.”. Job’s suffering was a test of his faith and whether he valued God more than his possessions, family, and health.

John 15:13: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” As a compassionate human being or a close friend you can breathe new life into a hopeless and lonely heart. Luke 6:31: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Jesus is the most powerful example of love and compassion. It is an honor and great joy to have Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit as your best friend. There is an old saying, “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.”

What are the qualities and characteristics of a true friendship

We can look to Bible and the friendship between Jonathan and David for the key ingredients.

Love: Jonathan loved David as himself, and David continued to honor Jonathan after his death.
Commitment: Jonathan and David made a covenant to seal their friendship.
Support: Jonathan offered support to David, even in challenging circumstances.
Loyalty: Jonathan and David were loyal to each other.
Sacrifice: Jonathan gave David his robe, tunic, sword, bow, and belt.
Intimacy: Jonathan and David developed a close emotional connection.

Scholars have described Jonathan’s feelings for David as philia, or love at first sight. Philia is a Greek word that means affectionate love or friendship. It’s one of the four ancient Greek words for love, along with storge, agape, and eros.

Characteristics of Philia

Non-romantic: Philia is love that doesn’t involve romantic attraction.
Trustworthy: Philia is often based on mutual trust and respect.
Long-lasting: Philia can be a deep bond that lasts a long time.
Brotherly: Philia is sometimes called “brotherly love”.

Examples of Brotherly Love

Philia can occur between friends or family members.
Philia can be a key part of marriages, providing a foundation for the relationship.
Philia can be a bond that forms through shared interests, such as hobbies or reading.

Friendships once began at school or at the playground

Back in the day you made friends with your siblings first then cousins then neighborhood kids and then classmates. Your first crush and date were with real people. Today things are a lot different. People meet on social media and make friends before meeting in person. Many rely on dating apps to match them with the perfect mate. You choose exactly what you want in a mate or friend and then pick the match that you think is best. This has worked for many but it’s just the beginning of a friendship. At some point you have to add the ingredients for a true and lasting friendship. Close friendships must be cared for and watered in order to grow. The question becomes a self directed one. What type of friend are you? Fake friends are like a shadow they only show up when the sun is shining.

How we treat the friendships that we acquire in life is what matters the most. Do you value the people in your life who are loyal? Does commitment mean anything to you? Are you compassionate? Or do you just pity less fortunate people? Maybe you have had some hard times and someone else’s situation if relatable. Pity and compassion and empathy often are misunderstood.

For example if you see someone sleeping in the alley on a cardboard sign that says “hungry please help” and you toss them a dollar because you feel bad for them you are giving out of pity. If you see someone on the news mourning the death of a loved one who committed suicide and you have experienced the same you feel empathy.

Compassion is not a feeling it is an action; we show compassion. There is a story in the Bible about someone laying on the sidewalk who is injured and everyone is crossing and walking on the other side to avoid that person, even a man of the cloth, and then you stop and help that person – you have shown compassion. In our friendships with family, friends, spouses etc., remember what Jesus said, “Love thy neighbor as thyself” and “Forgive seven times seventy.”